During my decades long IT career, I had countless conversations with women executives across the globe. They were successful by every professional measure, but universally suffered from the same pain point … the feeling that there were not enough hours in the day for them to meet their professional and familial obligations AND carve out personal time for themselves.
They were consistently frustrated because they:
- Completed tasks at work and at home that could have been done by others.
- Habitually gave up on their plans to focus on their well-being.
- Agreed to take on assignments which were often time consuming, not strategic and of questionable value.
On this episode I will focus on the primary reasons you find it so difficult to find the time to do what’s important to you. You’ll explore what drives this behavior and examine some of the choices you have available to you to learn and embed some new behaviors.
Juggling the Demands of Work and Family
There was a time in my life when I was being squeezed in all directions by the demands of work and my family. My days were scheduled with military precision.
There wasn’t a minute of my day that wasn’t filled with a conference call, a meeting, a doctor’s appointment, an activity for my son, grocery shopping, running errands for my disabled mother, etc.
And let’s not forget those last-minute invitations to attend meetings where someone thought my presence was absolutely necessary. Those requests had me making calls and moving around appointments like pieces on a chess board. Oh, and I forgot to mention that in between all of this frenetic activity I actual had to get my work done!
Does any of this sound familiar?
The Ongoing Struggle for Women in the Home and Workplace
What I just described is a reality for so many successful executive women. Let’s peel back the onion a bit to explore why.
You are living in the information age, where digital technologies have made the exchange of information faster with each passing day.
Just think about how much change you experienced in the last 3 years in the way communication has evolved. The wide-spread adoption of remote meeting technology has resulted in a permanent increase in the number of video calls employees are required to attend compared to pre-pandemic times.
What hasn’t changed is your own mindset and society’s expectations of women and the role they play at home and in the workplace. For example, women:
- Spend on average 2.6 hours a day on household activities.
- Account for the majority of unpaid labor such as childcare, elder care or emotional support.
- Are expected to give more in the workplace, resulting in 28% of women “volunteering” for additional duties.
How the Need for Control Holds Executive Women Back
Your tendency to do everything yourself can have a destructive effect. You have a variety of excuses for taking ownership of everything that includes:
- Things will be done faster if you do them yourself.
- You don’t like to ask for help.
- The drive for perfection won’t allow you to let anything go.
This mindset is killing you! You’re exhausted. The notion of having time for yourself during the week seems like an unattainable dream. You want to pursue other interests but there are just not enough hours in the day to make this a reality.
Just imagine how a few tiny adjustments in your behavior could free up some time for you every single day.
Own Your Time in Your Executive World
You work hard and constantly, but not always in support of what’s right for you. You have to take ownership for freeing up time for yourself because no one will do it for you. In fact, those around you have come to expect that you will always step up. Have you ever wondered why they always seem so relaxed and unbothered?
What does ownership look like?
- Release your need to continue to prove your worth by taking on additional tasks. This could be anything from turning down requests to be an advisor to an ERG or chaperoning at your child’s school dance.
- Let go of responsibilities that can clearly be done by others. Will their output match the same quality as yours? Maybe or maybe not. But if it’s good enough, then go for it!
- Reframe your thinking. This is not about evading your responsibilities. This is about tapping into the resources available to you so you can be more effective and drive what’s really important.
What I’m suggesting may sound scary or impossible. I urge you to consider them as necessary strategic steps towards your self-preservation and longevity.
If you manage to scrape together 15 minutes for yourself each day, consider it a win. If you can to do this consistently, I can assure you that the compound effect will have a positive impact. Take pride in what you are able to accomplish each day. Don’t be hard on yourself for prioritizing YOU.
Remember, you are the solution to claiming what’s important to you!
