Welcome back to the Living While Leading podcast. I’m Sharon Ehrlich, a leadership development expert and executive coach. I support high-achieving women who refuse to wait years to be noticed to take control of their careers. Today, we’re exposing a career killer you didn’t even realize was lurking: unspoken expectations.
Years ago, I poured my heart into what I thought was a flawless project. I was proud. My team? They felt set up to fail because my project plan lacked a clear articulation of realistic expectations.
This resulted in stakeholder misalignment, missed deadlines, and evaporated trust. That’s when I discovered that an unspoken expectation is a disappointment guaranteed.
That misfire wasn’t an isolated problem; unclear expectations domino into missed milestones, eroded credibility, and burnout. Especially for women who strive for excellence and always aim high.
Stay tuned if you’ve ever had challenges setting clear expectations or difficulty (or fear) of resetting expectations when things don’t go according to plan.
Find the full transcript and other resources for women leaders at LivingWhileLeading.com/70.
Unspoken Expectations: How Hidden To-Do Lists & Disguised Deadlines Are Sabotaging Your Success
When you’re leading complex projects, you’re likely walking around with secret to-do lists in your head, assuming everyone else can read them.
You might be dealing with deadlines that are disguised as “suggestions,” where you might say Friday, but they hear “sometime next week.”
What you think is “good enough” might differ significantly from their expectations, which could be as perfect as a masterpiece.
When you don’t express your needs for more time, more resources, more clarity, your resentment builds quietly because unspoken needs don’t disappear; they only grow stronger over time.
And what keeps you silent? Fear of conflict, people-pleasing programming. or that nagging imposter voice whispering, “If you say no, you’ll look weak.”
But I have news for you, your silence won’t save you. It will sink you.
Six-Step Blueprint to Future-Proof Your Career
Let me introduce you to a blueprint that will turn you into an expert in expectation management.
Think of this blueprint as your professional armor. Each step weaves a layer of clarity and control around your career. You’ll learn how to turn hidden assumptions into clear commitments, so missed deadlines and mixed signals become a thing of the past.
- Speak up on day one
From the project kickoff, open with: “Here are our must-haves vs. nice-to-haves.” Call them out in your first meeting. Share them in your project document. When everyone nods on the record, you’ve got a safety net. - Underpromise, overdeliver
Add a 10–20% buffer to every timeline and then beat it. If you promise five days, plan for six. Then celebrate when you hand it over on day four. That surprise factor will cement your credibility. - Document every agreement
Convert every project discussion into a concise one-page summary that clearly outlines deliverables, deadlines, and responsibilities. Store it in a shared folder with read receipts. When disagreements arise, you’ll have the receipts to steer back on track. - Negotiate like a leader
If the project’s requirements start to grow beyond the original plan, stay calm and offer options: “I can complete A by Tuesday, or A and B by Thursday, which serves our goal best?” Framing choices positions you as a problem-solver, not a complainer. - Champion transparency
Practice regular open feedback rituals. Have weekly check-ins with one question: “Are we still aligned on X, Y, Z?” Make no-surprises the cultural norm, where honest updates are celebrated, not punished. - Own your setbacks
When things go sideways, own up to it quickly. Explain the context: “Our vendor delay shifted the timeline.” Propose a fix: “Shall we shift launch to Friday or fast-track QA by Monday?” Honesty, combined with a solution, shows your leadership.
When Plans Go Sideways: Your Leadership Moment
No matter how carefully you plan, unexpected challenges such as delayed shipments or shifting requirements will inevitably pop up.
When they do, follow this three-step rescue formula:
- Act immediately by informing everyone involved as soon as you spot the problem;
- Frame the “why” by clearly explaining the root cause (for example, “our vendor shipment was delayed in customs”); and
- Propose the fix by offering concrete solutions (such as “we can push the launch to Friday or fast-track QA over the weekend”).
Finally, take ownership by saying something like “I underestimated the testing time” to show accountability, rebuild trust, and turn a crisis into a credibility win.
Boundaries Aren’t Barriers, They’re Bridges
Women who set clear boundaries earn 20% more promotions than their peers who don’t and report 30% less burnout. Clarity is a launchpad, signaling that you value your time and others’ time equally.
Your Next Move: From Chaos to Confidence
You deserve a career built on crystal-clear agreements, mutual respect, and a streak of consistent wins. Every time you own a conversation, add a buffer, or set a boundary, you’re building unstoppable momentum and not just surviving, but thriving.
If this episode gave you that clarity boost you needed, share it with a fellow high-performer. If unclear expectations are holding you back, let’s connect on the Work with Sharon page at LivingWhileLeading.com or send me a DM on LinkedIn. I’m here to help you map out your path to success.
And if you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review it on your favorite podcast app and help other driven professionals discover their power.
Until next time, keep speaking up, overdelivering, and shining because your clarity is the catalyst for your next big career breakthrough.
Remember, you’re the solution to claiming what’s important to you!
