I coached a talented executive with years of experience in her industry. She was a hard worker with series of successful projects, leadership awards, and a team that admired her.
While scrolling through her LinkedIn feed, she discovered that a former colleague had been promoted to CEO of a tech company.
This information triggered feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt in her. She felt she had been working hard and struggled to understand why she hadn’t reached the same level as her former colleague.
Despite her achievements, she focused on what she hadn’t accomplished in comparison to someone else. Her impulse to compare herself to others drained her emotionally.
In our coaching discussions, it became clear that her comparison others was not only unproductive but also fundamentally flawed.
Comparison is natural but often unproductive and creates emotional clutter that distracts you from your own potential.
If you’ve ever compared yourself to others, then keep listening. We’ll discuss the impact of this behavior and some empowering strategies you can use to interrupt this cycle.
Find the full transcript and other resources for women leaders at http://www.livingwhileleading.com/19
The Hidden Costs of Comparison and the Impact on Women IT Executives
We live in a world that thrives on competition, on being better or having more than the next person. Whether it’s the job market, social media, or even our social circles, we’re constantly exposed to opportunities for comparison.
While a little competitive spirit can be good for motivation, chronic comparison with others can be damaging to your self-esteem, focus, and overall happiness.
As a leader striving for excellence, it’s important to understand some of the reasons why comparison might be robbing you of your joy and purpose.
- Comparing yourself to others erases your individuality and undermines the unique path you’ve taken in your life and career. When you measure yourself up against someone else, you essentially invalidate your own experiences, strengths, and the unique attributes that make you, you. This self-view is unjust and doesn’t honor the events, decisions, and influences that have shaped your life.
- Please remind yourself that when you scroll through someone else’s life, especially on social media, you only see their curated highlights — the awards, the conferences they’ve attended at exotic destinations and happiness. What’s not on display are their failures, sacrifices and weaknesses. This distorted lens amplifies your feelings of inadequacy and can erode your confidence over time.
- Comparison can distort your focus. Instead of channeling your energy into your own development and improving your life, you waste it on unproductive thoughts.
Transformative Strategies to Break the Cycle of Comparison for Self-Empowerment and Authentic Fulfillment
It’s important to acknowledge that everyone grapples with comparison. However, this behavior makes it easy to lose sight of your own worth and journey.
The path to authentic fulfillment and joy doesn’t lie in mirroring someone else’s life but in optimizing your own.
Consider these mindset shifts that can reshape not only how you view yourself but also how you interact with the world.
- The first step is to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Spend a few minutes each day acknowledging what you’re grateful for. This shift from a mentality of scarcity to one of abundance can be incredibly empowering and recalibrating.
- Instead of measuring yourself against others, why not compete with the only person you have control over — you. Create personal milestones and take stock of your growth by looking backwards at where you started. Measuring your own progress is not just motivating, it’s the only metric that truly matters.
- Lastly, make it a habit to celebrate the accomplishments and good fortune of others. When you genuinely revel in someone else’s success, you’re also subconsciously reinforcing a mindset of abundance. This behavior will allow you to start viewing success, not as a limited resource, but as something available to everyone—including yourself.
Why Women Executives Must Discourage Unhealthy Comparison to Empower Team Success
As a leader it’s also crucial for you to coach your teams away from unhealthy comparisons.
You’ll recognize improved team cohesiveness when you guide them to value each person’s unique contributions and to focus on self-improvement rather than competition. This, naturally, will increase their ability to meet organizational objectives.
Have you ever heard the expression “comparison is the thief of joy”? Well, I think there’s a lot of truth in it.
You’re incredible and accomplished! Your unique path and achievements speak for themselves. Remind yourself that there’s no need to measure yourself against others.
Remember, you’re the solution to claiming what’s important to you!